A Wish

Sometimes the best Christmas wish is one you can wish for someone else, even if it could only be a wish. The undeniable realization of mortality has unfortunately knocked on the door of someone I love and they are currently dealing with the loss of someone before their soul and body have even parted this earth.

My wish is for my sister and that she will be able to always remember her grandmother the way she was when my sister was growing up, instead of the way she is now. Recently Grandma Gloria was diagnosed with dementia and my sister Tosha is watching the strong independent woman who raised her slip away right before of her eyes.

Grandma Gloria is Tosha's paternal grandmother. Gloria, along with Tosha's maternal grandmother Pat, raised Tosha for most of her life. They are the ones to give credit to for Tosha becoming an intelligent, strong willed and wise person.

Growing up, I remember every year one of the things Tosha treasured most at Christmas was a package she received in the mail from Grandma Gloria. It was their tradition, it was their special connection. It was Tosha's childhood stocking. The stocking itself seemed to be pieced together from ancient fabrics, almost as if it was made from a family quilt, tattered at the edges but still thick, warm and comforting. It was always filled to the brim with precious treasures individually wrapped. There were perfume scented soaps and foil wrapped chocolates. Most of all the sock was filled to the brim with thoughtfulness and love.

Grandma Gloria was diagnosed with semantic dementia this fall and her mind has been slipping as fast as it seems the color of the leaves are changing. This particular condition is caused by atrophy of the front temporal lobe of the brain. Those affected by it have a difficult time with the meaning of words. They get mixed up. For example, Grandma Gloria told her great grand daughter she would get her some water for her cereal and she also couldn't figure out what Italian salad dressing was. As the condition worsens so does the symptoms. Soon Grandma Gloria won't be able to look of a picture of a dog and know that is in fact a dog.

It is said that after being diagnosed patients are given five to ten years left of their life, it is estimated that Grandma Gloria has had semantic dementia for about five years already. And as if this wasn't enough for a family to endure Grandma Gloria was also diagnosed with multiple myeloma which is cancer of the white blood cells. Because Grandma Gloria's body is failing her the family is trying to get her into a nursing home as soon as possible. Unfortunately soon she will be unable to care for herself and could possibly become a danger to herself and others.

It is a sad state of affairs this Christmas season. I would not wish on my worst enemy to have to watch someone they love hopelessly deteriorate before their eyes, let alone my best friend in the world.

Me and my sister are not related by blood but we adopted each other into our respected families over 15 years ago. She is the one who is trusted above all in my life, my oracle, my confidant. She is the one person who doesn't tell me what I want to hear but instead what I need to hear. So Tosha, this is my Christmas wish to you. I wish you the strength and the courage (that I already know you have) to face this mountain you are climbing. I wish that you will always remember your grandmother as the woman she was to you growing up like taking you bungee jumping in Lake Tahoe when you were only a teenager and making sure to always send you your stocking every Christmas. And if you want, if it would help, you could send me your stocking and every year I will make sure it is filled with just as much love and consideration as Grandma Gloria would have and she could live on in your tradition. Until the day I die sister, I love you.